Unicorn Longings

by Bonnie

We were talking about the Brazilian jeans shop in my new neighborhood. I said, “Of course I haven’t been inside. Those mannequins are all I need to see. Nothing there would fit.” Then a male friend mumbled something about a unicorn.

“What about a unicorn?” I asked.

“Finding a white girl with a big ass is like seeing a unicorn. A rare and mystical creature.”

He was not implying that I am that mythical creature. Not at all. But did everyone know this turn of phrase? Was it only new to me? Turns out the unicorn means different rare and mystical things to different people.

Swingers use the term unicorn to refer to an attractive, single woman, eager to engage with an interested couple. In the Renaissance Faire community, a Unicorn is an award given out for ten or more years of service as an entertainer.

Past awardees (about 100 as of 1997) may greet each other with a horned forehead gesture.

On the web, (but not here, we never feel this way here):

A unicorn is a legendary and beautiful creature that is spotted slightly more frequently than the mythical reasonable commenter.

Several sex acts vie for the title of The Unicorn. All include either placing something on, aiming something at, or strapping something to the middle of the forehead. I’ll leave this one unlinked.

And unicorns probably bring surrealism upon themselves, what with being unreal. (Maybe real though!)

1.a pretty horse with a horn on its head.
2.one single pease of corn.
3.a unitard made of corn that you can do interperate dances in.

Some unicorns symbolize deeply private in-jokes, specific to quite specific groups.

when drunk randomly putting a snooker cue 2 ur head and randomly sayin “im a unicorn” here by creating the still existant and popular sayin of currie high school

Oh the yearning for unicorns, the pining:

An attractive girl who loves playing video games. She’s a unicorn because she’s a near myth.

Maybe someone should pull this young woman aside.

1. A unicorn symbolizes an orgasm.
2. “A very pretty, white, majestic, non existent mythical creature that everyone talks about, but you never actually see first hand.”
1. My boyfriend gave me a unicorn.

It gets better. Usually.