How to Actually Stretch Too-Small Shoes
by Allison Davis
Oh, you’ve gone and done it again. You bought a way cute pair of shoes that make your feet look a half-size smaller … because they ARE a half-size smaller. But they’ll stretch when you wear them, right?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But if they don’t, here’s an easy way to stretch’em out. Seriously.
1. Fill up two Ziploc bags about half full (you were optimistic when you bought those suckers, remember?) with water. Make sure you get the bags with the blue + yellow = green technology to make sure that shit is SEALED. This is important.
2. Place said bags in each shoe.
3. Place shoes, waterbags and all, in the freezer. Walk away.
4. When the water in the bags freezes and expands, it gradually stretches your shoes. Ain’t nuthin’ but math and science, y’all.
5. Take the shoes out of the freezer, remove the bags, and immediately place your feet in them. This is where you’re gonna need a bit of strength, since it’s cold in there. But not as cold as walking barefoot through the snow because your shoes were too tight.
6. Chill out. (Haha! Sorry.) Watch a Real Housewives marathon, pay some bills, whatever. Let your newly expanded shoes mold to your feet as they warm up and constrict.
7. Demur when complimented on your adorable shoes that don’t hurt at all, even though they’re a size too small. Don’t tell them that part.
8. Dance like no one’s watching, even though they are, so you know, be cool.
Note: The Hairpin does not advise buying too-small shoes as regular practice, or else this might happen. Method to be used in case of cute-shoes-on-sale-last-size-emergency only.
Allison Davis is a writer and TV producer living in San Francisco.
Photo via ABeautifulMess