Is There Anything You’d Tattoo on Your Private Parts in Exchange for That Actual Thing?

Without reading the story behind this, I’d like to imagine that what happened is that this man wanted a Mini Cooper so badly that he wrote/called/visited Mini Cooper HQ daily until finally the Mini Cooper guys were like, “FINE come in,” and he came in, and they sat him down and said, “Sir, we’ve been thinking a lot about this, and we’re prepared to give you a Mini Cooper” — and here the man would start crying — “sir, we’re prepared to give you a Mini Cooper but you need to get the word ‘mini’ tattooed on your dick. Well?” And the guy would look up into all the Mini Cooper execs’ eyes, like, is this for real? But no one would be smiling, and so the guy’d be like, “Ahh … OK?”

And after reading the actual story, no, it’s just because Mini Cooper held a contest where whoever did the most ridiculous stunt would win a car. But the question stands. Would you tattoo a thing onto yourself to make that thing materialize? “A one trillion dollar bill,” you’re thinking. (I’m thinking.) Also I guess … the face of a dead loved one. OK. Maybe forget the question part of this. Man, I bet that tattoo hurt!