Have You Lost Your Mind Over the New Zodiac?

“My sign is not my sign?!” you screamed. Well, your sign probably is your sign, unless you really want to change it, in which case here’s a list of the new signs (although I’d rather kill myself than be a Taurus).

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

Oh nah nah, what’s my sign? No, I know my sign. (I need my sign.)