What Does Your Finger Say About You?

Another day, another finger-driven article! (“Finger-driven”! Gross!) Anyway, here we go:

A long index finger … correlates strongly with a lower risk of early heart disease and, in women, a higher risk of breast cancer and greater fertility.

On the other hand (GET IT!!!!!?!?!?!),

People with short index fingers make better soldiers, engineers, speculators and chess players, and are better at solving problems such as crosswords. They are also more likely to be left handed.

But short index fingers have also been linked to a higher chance of ending up in prison, being murdered, going mad … [being] poorer and find[ing] it harder to hold down a job. They suffer more infectious diseases and probably, on average, do not live as long.

Uh oh. And more! (Also, my favorite part of this diagram is “mark it with a pen.” Haha. And if the ink is too light to see, just take a little knife and mark it with a “line” in your skin. Go as deep as you like!)