Was the Third Kind of Ancient Human Hot?

The recently discovered third type of ancient human — in addition to Neanderthals and regular human ancestors — was apparently at least OK-looking, because they “probably interbre[d] occasionally with humans like you and me,” says Ker Than of National Geographic. And according to an account in the Daily Mail, these Denisovans, as they’re called (the pieces of bone and tooth from which their DNA was extracted were found in a cave in Denisova, in Siberian Russia), probably looked like homo erectus, pictured. That dude is not so good-looking, but he could be worse. (Full picture slightly NSFW.)

If you were trapped on a desert island with a Denisovan, what would you do? To be honest I would probably hide for as long as I could, and then kill myself. Although how do you even kill yourself on a desert island? If there were cliffs to jump off it would be easy, but if there weren’t cliffs, I guess you could make a spear and set up a way to impale yourself. But if you could make a spear you could probably just slit your wrists. You can’t catch me, Denisovan!