The Best of Swiss Bank UBS’s Delightful Fashion Commandments

Swiss bank UBS has published a wonderfully thorough 44-page dress code for its workers. It’s in French, but NPR’s blog and its French-speaking readers have helpfully plucked out some highlights. Among them:

Light makeup consisting of foundation, mascara and discreet lipstick … will enhance your personality.

Male employees of a certain age are warned against dying their hair, because artificial color contrasts excessively with the actual age of your skin.

In general, it is recommended to not wear a jacket with full pockets. It gives the impression of disorganization.

Haha, I misread this as “a jacket full of pockets,” and I was like, “true, yeah.” And, my favorite:

Never wear shoes too small for you: there is nothing worse than a tense smile.

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Undergarments must exclusively be made of fabrics of superior quality, be easily washable but equally must remain in good repair after a few washings.

The best time to apply your perfume is right after a hot shower.

(Interesting!)

[Men,] if you have to take more than a half-hour to get your hair ready, that indicates that there is a problem.

In addition, we recommend that you, inasmuch as is possible, not apply makeup to your neck. Makeup stains on the collar produce an ill effect.

Indeed. But, phew:

Whether you shave dry or with water is of little import, it’s for you to choose.

… And that’s what it looks like when you steal from NPR by tiptoeing through its comments section and plucking its users’ French translations. Go give NPR lots of money!