Lindsay Lohan and Dawn Holland

Did Lindsay Lohan sprain the wrist of Betty Ford employee Dawn Holland, or did Dawn Holland push Lindsay Lohan so hard into a wall that it made her cry?

Did Lindsay Lohan slip diarrhea medicine into Dawn Holland’s drink right before her big date, or did Dawn Holland put a tampon in the hot tub even though she knew Lindsay was going to go in there later with a guy?

Did Lindsay Lohan tell Dawn Holland’s friend to be aware that Dawn’s actually really annoying when she drinks, or was Dawn Holland acting out of character that night because of a specific reason?

Did Lindsay Lohan email Dawn Holland to see if she could recommend dermatologists in the area (because … why, Lindsay?), or did Dawn Holland forward Lindsay an invitation to a party that Lindsay thought she would have been invited to, but she wasn’t, and she could then see who was on the original CC list, and most of them it was like, “really?”?

Did Lindsay Lohan complain to Dawn Holland that she felt like she had gained weight, and did Dawn Holland respond, “It’s OK — you’re still pretty” (emphasis, in Lindsay’s brain, on “still” and its implications), or did Dawn Holland complain endlessly to Lindsay about how she didn’t actually-actually like any of the guys she’d been hooking up with recently even though Lindsay literally hadn’t hooked up with a guy in a year?

Did Lindsay Lohan ask Dawn Holland where she got her pants, and when Dawn Holland told her J.Crew, was Lindsay like, “I wish I could still fit into their clothes, but they changed their size chart and now everything’s like” (and she makes a ballooning gesture with her hands), or was Dawn Holland laughing, and when Lindsay asked her why she was laughing, did she say, “Oh nothing, it’s just that we” — also they were with a group of friends — “we were just saying how you always wear that wolf t-shirt and that long-sleeved gray shirt, and then you just walked in wearing them both, layered, and it was funny”?

Update: Taiwanese media circuit NMA have kindly animated the incident for us.