Go Back to Sleep

Here’s some breaking news: sleeping helps you not look disgusting every day. Can you believe it? Truth is truly stranger than fiction.

Because I mean, why would people sleep when they could just be awake? Just be in their houses, sort of looking out the window, the bags under their eyes feeling like sacks, like sacks of gifts. Like their eyes were Santa, and the bags under them were where they carried the toys. Tiny, soft toys, straining to get out. Give me to someone. A holiday feeling. Imagine pulling toys out of the bags under your eyes. “Here. Hold on a sec, let me just … let me just squeeze it out. Here we go. A little sleigh.” Your fingers dripping with blood. OK, onto the next post, this one has been a great success. Gooood morningggg!