Tolerable Celebrity Rendered Intolerable by Dog

by Liz Colville

Many intolerable features here: matchingish sunglasses, matching Starbucks cups, and mutual hotness. But mainly, the dog’s hoodie, and the way, in photo 6, the dog is held in the arms of the celebrity in question in a way that suggests it, the dog, is something it isn’t. The position of the dog’s right front leg. The way the back legs are awkwardly held by two of the celebrity’s fingers. The way the dog is looking, Mrs. Joenas thinks, at her, but actually right through her, off into the distance, wondering what the hell it was thinking being born without the capacity to think about who should own it and how it might prevent itself from ever having to wear clothing.