Oh, Just Some Vibrator Chat

by Charlie Charlton

I was crestfallen when my vibrator broke — in the shower one morning it just refused to wriggle like it used to (water-resistant, not water-proof, as I later found out). But it did gave me an opportunity to buy a new one, so I asked some trusted lady friends for recommendations. And, as a firm believer in a woman’s right to get off, why should I keep this information to myself? So, if for some reason you don’t already own a vibrator — and every woman should — these are a few of our favorite things. (Also, happy National Sex Toy Day seven days ago!)

Hitachi Magic Wand ($46.98, Amazon). “The Hitachi is fucking intense. It plugs into the wall and does the job in about .5 seconds. I had a fake intervention group with some girlfriends who own one. One of which threw hers in the garbage and then, upon further thought, went and retrieved it.”

Sinnflut Phantasy Rechargeable Vibrator ($75, Vita Digest). “It is totally awesome. It has nine speeds, six steady ones at varying intensities and three pulsing speeds. It’s rechargeable (it has a docking station) and waterproof. The shaft is grooved, which adds an extra dimension, and the silicone makes it pliable. And it’s orange, which is cheerful and not creepy (flesh-colored sex toys = creepy).”

The Silver Bullet ($15, Babeland). “Just a pellet with a motor in it and a wire leading to a little control box is perfectly effective for a lot of people.”

Form 2 ($135, Jimmyjane). “For a little more pleasure when with my partner.”

Blueberry Buzz ($20, Babeland). “It’s a smallish, battery-operated hard plastic model.”

The Jack Rabbit ($34.95, Romantic Gifts). “It’s a serious piece of equipment but it’s very effective.”

As for the best places to buy a vibrator, Babeland was the reigning NYC-centric locale: “Great advice and plenty of eco-conscious, vagina-friendly intimate toys. You need to be careful with toys and either get glass or eco-friendly… no cervical cancer here, please.”

“You’re not going to freak a Babeland person out…They can tell you whether something will work with your G-spot, whether it’s safe to put it up your butt or not, WHY you might want to put it up your butt sometimes, what your G-spot is, how to clean your vibrator, what precautions to take with your vibrator, whether those precautions differ if you plan on using it alone or with partners, and anything else you might want to know.”

“I like goodvibes.com and babeland.com. Yes, that’s right. I bought it on the Internet because I was too shy to buy it in the store. But: that’s why the Internet exists!”

And there you have it.

Charlie Charlton lives in Brooklyn and writes The Hots For Teacher column. She is also hysterical.