Mice Given Fountain of Youth

Here’s some good news for people with select rare diseases and people afraid of looking older: A group of scientists have successfully reversed aging in mice*! Thanks to a gene-activating pellet slipped under their skin, feeble-brained, infertile mice the equivalent of 80-year-olds were turned into “the physiological equivalent of young adults.” So, sort of a reverse Flowers for Algernon scenario. Also, something something Benjamin Button. And something something mice sexting, mice …. ? (Twenty minutes spent trying to think of things young adults do these days. Mice drinking tiny Four Lokos? Mice …. taking tiny little SATs? Mice … ??? A mystery!)

*The catch is that the mice had been genetically programmed to age faster than normal mice in the first place, and the process might cause cancer. But everything causes cancer, so whatever!