A Sausage Wrapped in a Pancake Wrapped in a Quadruple Bypass

by Liz Colville

Dunkin’ Donuts’ latest product offering is an “innovation” that “features sweet and savory bite-sized sausage links in a maple flavored pancake.” The press release presumes that we previously thought it “impossible to enjoy a classic pancake and sausage breakfast while on the go.” Well, to be honest, it just never crossed my mind, but now it is looming in my mind like a sausagey, mapley blimp.

Here are some adjectival highlights from the Pancake Bites press release:

-poppable
-portable
-traditional
-wider
-all-day, every day
-stacked
-delicious
-impossible

Has fast food learned nothing from “Taco Town”? Does fast food not watch television?