Woman Crams Remarkable Amount of Idiocy Into Single Blog Post

Wow! Over on Marie Claire’s dating blog — I’m on a Marie Claire tear — writer Maura Kelly considers Mike & Molly, the sitcom about an overweight couple, and asks, “Should fatties get a room?”

Where to begin! Fortunately she answers her own question right off the bat:

[Y]es, I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room

Hmm, should you go back and maybe rephrase that, or should you march forward, pounding the keyboard with your beautifully slender fingers? Please, go right ahead:

Now, don’t go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump. I’m not some size-ist jerk. … For instance, the overweight maintenance guy at my gym has talked to me a little bit about how it seems worthless for him to even try working out, because he’s been heavy for as long as he can remember.

How wonderful that someone’s finally invented a machine that can preserve someone for decades in complete isolation before releasing them directly onto a computer at Marie Claire. There’s also more:

But … I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It’s something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.
(I’m happy to give you some nutrition and fitness suggestions if you need them — but long story short, eat more fresh and unprocessed foods, read labels and avoid foods with any kind of processed sweetener in them whether it’s cane sugar or high fructose corn syrup, increase the amount of fiber you’re getting, get some kind of exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week, and do everything you can to stand up more — even while using your computer — and walk more.

Yay! Long story short indeed. Oops, sorry to interrupt:

Then again, I guess these characters are in Overeaters Anonymous. So … points for trying? Then again, I tend to think most television shows are a kind of junk food for the mind and body.

Personally, I don’t even know what TV is! My maintenance man brought it up once, but he’s so fat I usually just slide my fingers under my hair and press my ears shut when he talks.