Toilet-Bowl Teeth No Longer Desirable

The evil era of flawlessly, hideously white “Chiclet” teeth — teeth that are “toilet-bowl opaque,” à la Hillary Duff — is now over, says a slew of fancy dentists whose patients are increasingly requesting slightly flawed veneers that have a more natural look. “The white standard got too white,” says one dentist. “The perfection standard got too perfect.” Indeed. One triumphant man quoted even had such gorgeously imperfect veneers that his girlfriend of two years thought she was simply dealing with a normal dude the whole time: “She didn’t know I had veneers on my teeth till I told her.” The article doesn’t say what her reaction was, but it’s fun to imagine!

Sadly, normal, slightly gross teeth are not yet back in fashion.