Breaking Toilet Paper News!

There’s a new toilet paper in town, and its name is Tubeless Toilet Paper. That’s right, this toilet paper ain’t got no tube! The revolutionary new technology is still top-secret (HOW’D THEY GET ALL THAT TOILET PAPER ON THERE?!), although a brand manager from Kimberly-Clark cryptically describes it as a “special winding process.” To say the least! Thrilling developments. STAY TUNED. No word yet on how children (and at least one adult) in the future will make barrel-dresses for their Barbies, but I’ll start hoarding now, I guess.